Incense smouldering, dogs crunching breakfast, 1 contract finished last night, another one to start over the weekend, Plato to read, hot water to wash up in, coffee brewing and Marilyn Manson on full volume – does it get better? Well, I always said I was eclectic lol.
It is interesting to note what advertisers leave out of their persuasive telly ads. For example, kitchen roll adverts; never have I heard them mention the fact that their paper towels are so strong and tough that they can survive, in one piece, the stomach acid and intestinal peristalsis (yes, I did biology A level at some point in the murk of my past) of a malamute who’s eaten an all-you-can-eat-as-long-as-it’s-kitchen-roll-buffet! Who knew? This, I feel, is a missed marketing opportunity! I wonder if it’s reusable afterwards?
Damn, thought I’d got away with it, but using a different brand of toothpaste involves a full body inspection, according to Malamute Protocol
Ever since Hamish’s accident with the electric fence, he’s been funny about having his nails trimmed – I can touch his feet, play with his toes and tap them with the clippers, but the moment I hold his nail ready to trim, he gets nervous and grumbly. So, yesterday I took him to the Wussy Pooches Poofy Pamper Parlour (names have been changed to humiliate Hamish) for a nail clipping. He was brilliant – not a murmur out of him, despite my dire warnings to the groomer. It was a fabulous place, and runs play sessions, day care, and training, etc. Both him and Pagan (well, I couldn’t leave her out, could I?) had a lovely session in the toy room afterwards – complete with complimentary wees from both of them – whoopsie. I’m definitely going to take them again, and am considering doing the KC Good (in a malamute kinda way) Citizen Scheme thingy with them – eeekkkk! It’ll give them something to keep their far-too-active brains (or whatever Hamish has) busy, and, as I am used to being shamed completely by them on a daily basis, will complete my own humiliation – I consider it good training for my ego 😉 . What do you think? Fancy coming on a journey of fun, frolics and embarrassment in a malamute stylie with us? This is where we went: Little Dale Dogs in Hawkhurst, Kent.
I feel dreadful – trimming Pagan’s claws, and caught the quick! Poor lovie is really upset at me, and I don’t blame her. I is a bad, bad owner and am now in the doghouse – ironic really as I live in the doghouse lol Maybe I should be in the personhouse as that would be punishing?
Apparently using a cosmetic face mask alters your identity so much that it confuses dogs – well, my dogs anyway, well, just Hamish actually. He’s following me round everywhere, asking for reassurance – or biscuits; maybe it’s biscuits, actually I think it is biscuits. Nope, he’s still confused, even after biscuits. Silly boy!
Once one has scoffed all the dandelion flowers, one may substitute with daisies, according to Pagan – who knew?
Woohoo result finally back from my last assignment – highest result for philosophy so far! Does that mean it’s going in – like fuck it does! That stoopid bun from yesterday did exactly the same thing this morning – hopped out right in front of us, had a snack, a small wash and leisurely hopped away. Beasts were as confused by this as yesterday. Seriously, rabbits have no respect whatsoever these days, the whole world is going to hell in a hand cart (sort of loving that image – creaky, wooden, rickety woodwormed cart, held together with iron strapping, hand made nails and faded dreams – although it does also bring the idea of leprosy in some strange way – who knew? lol ). Anyways, I now have coffee and snoring dogs – perfect!
Luckily I had the beasts close to me when stoopid bun hopped out right in front of us. He just sat there, looked around, and had a nibble on some grass that was so tasty that it overrode any inherent dog fear! The beasts looked up at me, looked at each other, looked at the bun, and then back at me. It’s fair to say, we were all a bit confused. Finally, Mr Bun, happily replete, hopped leisurely away from us, no rush, no fear, no brains, and we continued with our walk. Hey ho, life on the edge!
Fucking rabbit, fucking dogs, fucking painful arm!
After working hard all morning, I now have a tiny bit of breathing space, before I open the study books. The beasts are fully engaging with this whole spring thing! Pagan went deep river diving this morning, surfacing with a very fetching waterlily leaf mop cap, looking for all the world like a pink nosed Mrs Tiggy Winkle. I think Hamish would have been more delighted to wear it than she was, and it would’ve suited him better! She has then gone on to frolic through the garden, snaffling all the newly awakened golden dandelion flowers, whilst Hamish, after peeing on the daffodils, lay and surveyed his kingdom (queendom lol) singing quietly to himself. I’m still sniggering at Mrs Tiggy Winkle!